Admittedly, being a grammar Nazi makes me kind of an asshole. I hate seeing things spelled wrong, incorrect punctuation or sentences ending in a preposition. I don’t, however, take photos of such malfeasance and post it to a ridiculous website like this one: www.starbucksspelling.tumblr.com. This inexplicably popular website answers the question “Could the entitled, douchey, white people at Starbucks get any more entitled, douchey or white?” That answer being “yes”.
Making fun of how people talk or spell is usually arrogant and assholish, but it’s seldom as awful as these “hilarious” pictures of coffee cups where, for example, “Julie” is spelled “Joolee”. Ha! Ha! That’s a good one! These stupid baristas can’t spell! I am a genius for going to Starbucks and having a name.
This goes beyond first world problems or white person problems and takes it to new depths. Starbucks misspelling your name on your coffee cup is an ultimate douche problem. Congratulations are in order to my fellow Caucasian assholes for helping us maintain our firm, pasty claim on being the worst people in the world.
Anyway, wanna’ cook something?
I’ve gotten big on balanced meals and trying to reduce my meat intake (not an easy task). I came up with a super quick and easy recipe that was satisfying, healthy and vegetarian.
½ cup rice
1 can black beans
½ cup chicken stock
½ yellow onion
1 serrano pepper
Bundle of cilantro
1 Tblsp butter
I started by cooking some rice – in the water, I added a bunch of pepper, paprika, ground cumin and a little salt.
While that was cooking, I chopped up one tomato, ½ of one yellow onion, one serrano pepper and a small bundle of cilantro. Add whatever you want but this is what I chose.
Next, I opened a can of black beans, rinsed them thoroughly tossed them into the mini food-processor along with a splash of chicken stock and a lot of black pepper.
Throw a little butter in your pan and caramelize the onions. Then add the other veggies and cook for a minute before adding the bean mixture. Add the cilantro at the very end to keep that light, refreshing taste. Once that’s warmed up and the rice is ready, just throw the rice in a bowl and top with the bean & veggie mixture. If you want to skip the rice, you can use this mixture as a dip for tortilla chips as well.
Total prep & cook time takes about 20 minutes, but only because you have to wait for the rice. Skip the rice and it shouldn’t take you more than 10 minutes