Portabello Mushroom Lasagna made with the left hand.

Who do these lefties think they are? One of my good friends here is a leftie, which is pleasant for me because anything that ever goes wrong with his life, I can blame on left-handedness. Surely, he wouldn't have problems with his landlord if he were right-handed like the rest of us. I mean, if he's afraid of heights, that's not my fault! He's the ones who's left-handed! Bad day at work? That's probably because he's left-handed. You get the idea.

This friend of mine hates onions and mushrooms. Did I mention that he's a leftie? So, in honor of Bracken, here's a recipe for Portabello Mushroom Lasagna. All creamy, all delicious, all right-handed.

Kosher Salt

Olive Oil

3/4 lb. dried lasanga noodles

4 cups whole milk

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter

1/2 cup all purpose flour

1 tsp. black pepper

1 tsp. ground nutmeg

1 1/2 lbs. portabello mushrooms

1 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Bring large pot of water to a boil with a little salt and a splash of oil. Cook noodles, drain, set aside.

2. Simmer milk in saucepan, set aside. Melt 1 stick of butter in a large saucepan. Add flour and cook for 1 minute over low heat, stirring constantly. Pour milk in mixture. Add salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Cook over medium-low heat stirring, then whisking about 5 minutes. Set aside, off heat.

3. Pop mushroom heads off stems and discard stems. Slice caps 1/4" thick. Head 2 Tblsp. oil and 2 Tblsp. butter in large saute pan. Add half the mushrooms, sprinkle with salt, cook at midium for 5 minutes. Repeat with the rest of the mushrooms.

4. Sauce bottom of 8x12x2 pan. Layer noodles, sauce, mushrooms, parmesan. Top with noodle and sauce, sprinkle parmesan. Bake at 375 degrees for 45 minutes.

Anyone who's anyone likes portabello mushrooms, Bracken!